Coffee Morning with my Wife

Episode Summary

In this episode, let’s uncover the true value of taking a pause, making conscious choices, and prioritizing what’s genuinely important to you. Dive into the power of connecting with loved ones and the journey of aligning with your core values amidst the storm of daily demands.

  • Explore the importance of conscious connection and core values.
  • Learn how to carve space for what’s truly important in your life.
  • Discover the balance between urgent demands and personal priorities.

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Episode Notes

Join me as we delve into the art of finding stillness and the importance of intentional living. We’ll explore how making space for relationships and core values not only nourishes the soul but also enhances daily life. This episode is all about aligning your actions with what truly matters to you!

00:00 – Coffee Morning with my Wife
01:37 – Intro
01:52 – What’s important to you?
02:48 – Pause your life
03:17 – Finding Stillness
04:58 – Flexibility is key
05:59 – Make a choice
06:39 – Dealing with tension
07:11 – Take a stand
08:14 – It can wait
08:59 – Know your values
09:16 – Where are you out of integrity
10:32 – Act on your values
12:03 – Outro

Transcript

00:00 In the last few days, I’ve been away and I’ve been in a course, in an intensive workshop that we’ve been working over and over and over with
different things. But the main thing is not that what I’ve done is that I’ve been away from home. I felt I’ve been away from my family and also
enjoyed the space, created the space for me to be able to do that. At the same time, one of the first priorities that came back to my mind as
reintegrating myself back into normal in day to day life was the coffee morning with my wife.

00:30 What does that mean? It means about taking the time to spend the time to do something that’s important for me as an idea. It’s about what I value
and also understanding and realizing that there’s been something that I usually place a lot of my attention and time into, but not because of I’ve
been away. This is something that I need to spend a little bit more time doing.

00:54 And I want to come from a place that I’m actually consciously thinking about that and creating that in order for me to step in and say, I’m taking
time to speak with my wife. Because connection for me is something very important. Sharing the love is something that’s very important.

01:12 It is what I want to be doing in the context of how I live my life. Part of that is spending time with my wife. And I know that there can be many,
many things that are pulling my attention.

01:23 But if I’m prioritizing my attention towards the connection that I want to be having and the love that I want to be having in my life, and the
time that I get to spend in quality of creating the things that I want to be having in my life. Welcome, my friend, to another episode from Inside
Treasures. My name is Phoebus, and I love to challenge myself and those around me for the purpose of growth.

01:47 I’m here to help you to heal, to change and to grow. So this came up as a result of we’re doing an exercise thinking about, like, it’s Monday
morning, what are we going to be doing and how is that going to come up? And the thing I was thinking was like, the first was one of the very
first things that came, actually. I was like, I really want to connect with my wife because I’ll be leaving early in the morning, I’ll be coming
back late in the night.

02:14 And then we haven’t really spent much time. Now, I know some of you might be thinking, what’s with this coffee morning with your wife? We don’t
really care. I get that.

02:23 That’s not the reason why I’m sharing what I’m sharing. The reason I’m sharing what I’m saying is about our ability to take time and carve time
for the things that they’re important for you. But a lot of the times we’re not even aware of what’s important for our life.

02:39 We don’t even recognize the things that are valuable and the things that they add value. We just go about our lives running around from one thing
to the next. What I’m saying is taking a stand, to pause, to stop, to be still for a moment.

02:54 To know in your heart what is really important for you, what’s important for you to be spending your time in general, like day to day. Don’t
prioritize my health. Do I need to go out in nature? Do I need to connect with myself? Do I need to be connecting with other people? Do I need to
prioritize time in my business? And of course, from minute to minute, these priorities change.

03:17 A quick announcement. I’ve been working behind the scenes for the past few months around a course called finding stillness. Finding stillness is
about helping you to create that space in your life, to create deeper connection, primarily with yourself.

03:33 But then as a result, with the people around you. It has to do with cultivating more self love, more understanding, more acceptance towards
yourself, your thoughts, your emotions. Finding stillness is something that I personally find it very important and crucial.

03:49 If you’re interested, go to my website, insidetreasures.com and look for the course finding stones. Finding stillness is about pressing pause in
life, about you finding the time and the space and cultivating that and create that in order for you to experience a moment of bliss, which you
get to create a moment of space, a moment for you where you can sit back and actually see your life for what it is. It’s about presencing yourself
in what is going on every single day, in every single moment.

04:30 That doesn’t mean this is what you will do, because in a way that can also sound tedious, but it’s about improving the quality of your life by
presencing yourself more and more and more. There’s so much abundance of gifts that comes as a result of you being able to do that. So if you’re
interested, go to insidetrezors.com, look for findingstillness and I will see you at the course.

04:57 Thank you, my friend. Like, one of my priorities yesterday was to record this podcast because I thought, actually, if I’m having coffee morning
with my wife. That’s a great idea to share with other people, but that didn’t really make it in the end.

05:11 It wasn’t that much of a high priority for me, and it was about my willingness to let it go as well. And sometimes postponing has its value. So
knowing where we stand, because there are many things that are pulling our attention, there are many, many things that are pulling away from your
energy.

05:29 And it’s things that we feel they need doing, and without it that they do. And some of them are irrelevant, like scrolling and looking at things
that we don’t really need to be spending our time. And that’s how we waste our time.

05:43 But also there are things of high value that need to happen. I mean, we got work to do, we got things to do. We got people to be with.

05:50 Taking the time to do what you value doesn’t make those things go away, but it draws a boundary where you get to stand in the middle and you get
to make a choice. And that choice is for you to do what’s important for you in any given moment, and also to intentionally do it, to intentionally
carve the space. And when you do that, it’s when you will notice the mirror of things that they’ve been waiting to happen and that you need to do,
and all the things that need your attention and how you will resist, even though it’s a gift for you to give yourself.

06:27 At the beginning, the two worlds collide. And when you take in the stance and you say, I’m willing to go for coffee with my wife, and I have all
these things coming up, there’s tension. Now, the two ways this tension works, one, in any context and with anyone, is that we’ll give in to that
pressure and we just do, and we allow us to be pulled and to move towards the direction.

06:56 Now, perhaps you want to go, perhaps you don’t want to go, but it’s the emotional tension. It’s the emotional energy that comes in. It gets
activated and moves us towards action more from a point of compulsion.

07:11 The other way is to stand, to take the stand that I’m doing this because it’s important for me. I’m taking the weekend off and I’m not working.
I’m taking the evening off and I’m not doing any work.

07:27 I’m going in the next 2 hours to be going to the gym. I know I got a thousand things to do, but right now, in this moment, this is what’s most
important. And it’s about getting more competent in the way that we deal with that kind of energy.

07:44 And it’s also about when we move through the world, doing the things that we value and the things that are important to us. We have a different
way of relating with ourselves. We have a different way of moving through the world because we say we do what’s important to us.

08:04 We put on hold what appears to be urgent, because most of things appear to be urgent, and then they’re not really urgent. And the reason they
appear to be urgent many of the times is also because people are not able to hold that boundary, to hold those walls together that say, right now
I’m just doing this. This, yes, it’d be nice if it got done very, very quickly.

08:30 And I also don’t need to do it right now. And it can wait. But this person asked me to do this, and it can wait.

08:39 It’s knowing that most things can wait. And how do you know? Sometimes it’s by trying out. Sometimes it’s by procrastinating on things that appear
to be urgent.

08:47 See, procrastination can have purpose. You can guide that and create that on purpose to say, actually, you can wait. You get to wait because I
choose and I get to do something else.

09:00 Knowing what you value is super important. And the only way for you to figure out what you value is by knowing what you value because you’ve
explored it in the past or by looking at your present life and noticing where are the inconsistencies and the incongruences. Where is it that I’ve
been wanting to spend more time and I haven’t been spending time? Where is it that you get to choose? Where is it that you don’t get to choose?
What are the kinds of things that are pulling your attention? What are the kinds of things that reorient your awareness from where you add to
something else? What are the types of things you say no to yourself, to the things that you value, to the things that you want? And sometimes that
shows up as anger, sometimes shows up as resentment, sometimes shows up as us numbing ourselves? But where is it that I feel that I’m getting out
of integrity and I could align myself with? What are the kinds of things that would be driving you that you would want to spend more time with?
This is, like, important things to consider.

09:58 Of course, there are deeper dives into values, the different episodes of things I’ve shared around finding our values and the things that we value
for ourselves. But it’s not so much about the philosophical idea of what it is and how it is that I think about a context. Like, I value love, I
value connection, I value freedom.

10:18 Okay? It’s not just about that in a philosophical way. It’s about the way that we move through life as an expression of those values that has more
meaning, that has more impact, that has more power for you. Remember, it’s not about the coffee.

10:35 It’s not about spending the time with the person that we did. It’s not about the action. It’s about the things that we learn as a result of us
being able to take a stand, to sit and.

10:45 And value what we value through action, through reflection of what it is that we value on an intellectual level, as an expression, through that
comes through into the world. And of course, when we lead with the way that we value for ourselves. Because values, they’re inherently in the,
like, positive state.

11:03 And sometimes we express them in a different way. But at the same time, it’s about creating the space for you to stand. And when you stand, to see
the things that arise as a result of you taking the stand with your values, for your values, for yourself, and also to see how that interacts with
other people.

11:24 When you get to step into the world from the space of your values, and how you can bring in other people into that, and how you can help to
elevate other people. And that could be, like, a very small example. It could be, at work, someone else, you want something else from somebody
else, and you’re asking them.

11:43 But at the same time, if you were to prioritize your connection with them, because connection is really important to you, and connection is really
important to them, you can get a lot more things done. When you feed yourself and you feed your soul through the things that you value, everything
else becomes a lot easier. Thank you for tuning in to another episode from inside treasures.

12:07 My name is Phibus, and until next time, my friend, let peace guide your life. Let love guide your heart and reason guide your thoughts.

PS. If you want to find stillness in your life and connection with yourself. Join the online Finding Stillness self-paced course.

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